literature

54

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Literature Text

punished
crushed

i know i deserve it

God still is around smiting people after all.

it's just not worth it...

you people,

you go ahead and keep on convincing yourselves that it doesn't matter
that God doesn't exist

that hell can't be real

you keep on in your comfortable self-satisfying mentality

but what if you're wrong
you've been betting your whole life on it

when it comes time to pay up
don't worry
you'll have eternity to work it off

but of course you may argue
"well you who believe are no better off,
you are going to end up on fire too"

and i truly believe that we are held accountable for what we know

but may i blame you unbelievers for my sin?  you who mock me, persecute me, tempt me?  
i am not strong
i am not pure
i am not holy
i am suspended between heaven and earth
dangling and twisting

i think if i give in, life will become more tolerable.
yes, life does get more tolerable
but punishment becomes more severe...

yet, oddly, tolerable.  

if only i could tolerate the persecutions, temptations and struggles as punishment.

then perhaps i could survive with my morals and my soul intact.  

everyone thinks no one understands

everyone thinks no one has gone through it

everyone thinks their pain is worse

no one has any clue

i think i finally have lost everything.

now it's just a matter of time
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